Dating Chinese Women: Easy Tips For Foreigners

Dating a foreign woman sounds fun, exciting, and even thrilling (in a good way)! However, what most men don’t account for is the differences in cultural backgrounds. For instance, if you are attracted to Chinese women, you may not know that they prefer serious relationships and want men to be the decision-making force.

There are many things to consider, and this article is here to help you. Keep reading to learn a bit more about the mysterious minds of Chinese girls. Learn what things they prefer in a romantic relationship and how to make them feel comfortable around you.

How To Date a Chinese Woman

Advantages And Disadvantages Of Dating Chinese Women

Before we dive deep into the cultural peculiarities of dating Chinese women, check out the pros and cons of dating these beauties. Here’s a comprehensive table of reasons to date or not date a Chinese girl:

ProsCons
BeautyMaterialism and paying attention to other people’s statuses
Family orientednessCommunication difficulties with her or her parents/grandparents.
Willingness to become a mother and a perfect wifeMay seem clingy, childish, or even infantile.
Femininity
Amazing cooking skills. 
Great planning and budgeting skills (perfect for a family).

Tips On How To Date Chinese Women

Men who plan to start dating a Chinese woman should consider a few key factors. These are as follows:

  • differences in mentality;
  • cultural peculiarities;
  • dating trends;
  • customs and traditions.

Visiting a different country means following their rules. Moreover, even if you are dating a Chinese woman in the US, you still might have to consider these peculiarities. Yes, typically, Chinese girls who were born or moved to the US, Canada, or any other western country, are more into western traditions. But if a lady is visiting, you have to consider the following tips. 

Be The Leader

When it comes to Chinese women dating, a Chinese girl won’t ever ask you on a date. China is a country with traditional values. A man is a leader, and the Chinese woman follows him. This tradition transfers to the dating culture too. If you like a Chinese girl, she attracts you and seems like OK with you asking her out, go ahead and ask her on a date. Even if she likes you very much, the Chinese woman will try to spend time with you but won’t ask you on a date. It’s uncommon and even frowned upon in China. 

Praise The Appearance Of A Chinese Girl

Being polite toward Chinese ladies and overall people is the key to success. Moreover, the first impression plays a huge role in the continuity of the romantic relationship in China. Thus, praise the appearance of a potential Chinese gf to increase your chances of getting a second date. If you compliment her beauty, a Chinese girlfriend is truly pleased.

chinese women

Paying The Bills

Whether you are dating a specific Chinese female, or you’ve asked her on one date, you’re the one who has to pay at a restaurant, cinema, club, or wherever you take your potential girlfriend. It’s uncommon for Chinese women to ever pay for themselves when they go out with men interested in them romantically. Even though a Chinese girl may have a high-paid job, you are still expected to pay since traditional roles in the culture in China are prevalent. 

Make Decisions

If you go on a date and you meet at a specific location, you should already know what place to visit. You can ask a Chinese woman what places she like, and ask if it’s OK for her to visit specific locations. But a situation when a man and a woman meet on a date, and the guy asks her where she wants to go, is very uncommon. In fact, if you ask a Chinese girl this question, you might not get the second date.

Men in China are used to bearing the decision-making roles. Naturally, when dating a Chinese girl, they ask about her preferences. But the rest is up to the man to decide. You should organize the date, pay at a restaurant, ensure your girlfriend went home safely, etc. The decision-making process transfers to married life as well.

No Detailed Conversations At First

Chinese women believe that on the first date, they should get to know their partners better. Topics like education, occupation (as in what you do in life), hobbies, family, friends, etc., are OK and preferred. Things like how much you pay for rent in China or whether you support the current politics are very dangerous. Talk about light topics and fun situations.

Avoid Sarcasm

Chinese girls, and Asian people overall, aren’t very good with sarcasm or irony. There are exceptions, but most Asian people are very polite. If you want to make a joke, make sure it’s subtle, not sarcastic or ironic. Your potential Chinese woman might take it seriously and think you’re rude or ignorant.

Serious Intentions

If you want to meet Chinese girls to hook up with, it won’t work. Societal pressure on Chinese women and men is high. Men and women should be married by the time they turn thirty, so casual dating is not a thing in China.

Parents of Chinese girls say straight up to their faces that they are failures if they reach 30 and are still not married. So, Chinese girls prefer serious relationships over casual encounters to meet these strict societal norms.

dating a chinese girl

Be Aware Of What You Say

We often say things we don’t mean. For example, we say “I love you” or “I miss you” when we don’t actually mean those things. In China, if you say to a Chinese girl that you miss her or you like her, she takes these words seriously. She believes you are a man of honor, and you are true to your word. So, if all of a sudden, you don’t “like” the girl and talk to someone else, a Chinese woman won’t longer take you seriously.

Introduction To Parents

If your girlfriend introduces you to her parents, she believes you are dating seriously. Chinese girls don’t bring anyone to their parents, only those men who they see as marriage material. Even though introducing you to her parents doesn’t mean that this Chinese girl expects an engagement ring tomorrow by noon, it’s still a very important step. If she introduces you to her parents, she thinks you are special, and she definitely likes you.

Relationships With Parents

People in China are very polite and respectful of older people. Her parents and grandparents expect their daughter’s boyfriend to be polite, respectful and know at least some basic rules of etiquette in China. Your girlfriend’s parents play a key role in your success if you want to marry a Chinese woman. If they disapprove of you, you might lose the girl. 

Final Thoughts

Whether you have a Chinese woman in mind and you want to invite her to drink a cup of coffee or tea, or you want to meet Chinese girls specifically, consider this article as a guide. Dating a Chinese woman is not rocket science, but the process is nuanced. Chinese women grow up in a different culture and different environment, and their views and values are not the same as yours. Ensure to learn more about Chinese people in general, and their culture, before you make a move.

Overall, each Chinese woman is different. They have different dreams and ideas, but most of them want serious relationships. It’s all because of the strict culture in China that puts a lot of pressure on young people. On the bright side, Chinese girls are perfect marriage material due to these cultural peculiarities.

Main Editor on MailOrderBridesAdvisor

About the author

Lera Loeb is a former mail order bride who knows all too well about the detail of dating and marriage with foreigners. She's now an internationally renowned dating expert and has helped thousands of women find Mr. Right.

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